Since the health insurance fairy recently waived her magical (read: fickle, expensive, necessary) wand upon me, I decided to make an appointment to see a dentist. Today I sat, was x-ray’ed, examined, poked and scraped. After it all, I heard something that in my many years of dental care, had never heard directed towards me:


I’ve always grown up being complimented on my smile. Although it looks nice enough, a closer examination into my mouth reveals the total shit show that my teeth have become over the years. Two teeth pulled, two on death’s door, crooked bottom row and a crown that needs replacing. Of course, all this equals big bucks and I am currently a person of small bucks so it’s all really out of the question. It’s been on my agenda to start looking at making a plan and working towards a fabulous, healthy mouth… tooth by expensive ass tooth. I’ve always envied all those people on TV shows who get to have a total mouth makeover and just go do it all at once and wake up one day with a perfect movie star smile. Yes, I have cried at the tooth reveals on Extreme Makeover.

So back to the braces.

I had two teeth pulled a few years ago. Both are towards the back of the right side of my mouth, one top and one bottom. The top one shows when I smile and it’s horribly embarrassing to me. That’s why you’ll always be looking at the left side of my face in ANY photograph you see of me. Always.

Mr. Dentist (who was lovely) said that those are usually the two teeth that they will pull in preparation for getting braces put on- so I’m already halfway there. He said it would be more cost effective and would correct all my bite issues and grinding. Tempting offer.

Drawbacks? Looking 13 for the last two years of my 20’s. What if MF dumps me and I have to try and be single at nearly 30 with braces? Can you still look sexy or am I doomed to 24 months of marmish nerdiness? I just see them being a total buzzkill and making my confidence do a nosedive. My instant gratification side wants me to just pony up for the bridge and be done with it. Mr. Dentist said it would just be putting a band-aid over my bigger issues, but it was my choice to make.

I’m definitely open to feedback here…

PS- after some googling… there are definitely a lot of people out there who think braces are sexy. And they have websites. Not what I’m going for, however.