So I’ve had this close match on my 23andMe since day one. As I’ve gotten more and more savvy with these results, I’ve realized just how important this match could be. It’s by far my closest match across all four platforms (GEDMatch, 23andMe, Ancestry and FamilyTreeDNA) and of course- it’s private. ┬áZERO identifying data aside from the fact that it’s a female. Plus, this person was ignoring all my requests to communicate for nearly a year. It was driving me nuts because this person is basically DEFINITELY as close as a first cousin to one of my parents, but which one? No way to tell…. or was there?

dnaAfter posting about this quandary in a particularly helpful facebook group, a member helped me and showed me a trick to identify which side a family member comes from. The two matches above are both from my mother’s side so I was able to use this workaround to iron out that the mystery second cousin was in fact from my mother’s side. Furthermore, since my aunt and my mom have different fathers, this gave me more information. My aunt does not have either the mystery relative or Mary on her results (I have my aunt’s sign in info so I can see her matches). This, combined with the little trick I learned, let me see that Mary is also related to this mystery person and my mom, but not my aunt- this means they are related to me through my mom’s father (my maternal grandfather). Not surprising, as he comes from a large family- but I cannot tell you how much less stressful it is knowing that this person is NOT related to me through my biological father. Ok mystery person… ignore me all you want :)